hey, I breathe with those!

It finally happened… I finally saw Million Dollar Baby.

I really could have timed this better. I’ve only wanted to see it for a year and a half. I knew the “surprise” that makes the film about something other than what the ads suggested.

It was not especially good planning to see this on vacation late at night when everyone else would just go to sleep. The movie keeps standing on my chest and won’t get off.

Strange in a sense… some people cry in the face of a well crafted tragedy, some get fired up over this injustice or that. With a movie like this, my lungs just decide to stop inflating until I work through the psychic shock… which usually involves talking with people… and everybody else is now asleep.

And seeing as I don’t know how many of you fine readers have already seen the movie and how many plan to see it someday, I can’t bring myself to…

Now that it’s only those of us that know the story… I still don’t know what to say. I feel as lost as Frank. (Which is as it should be with a movie like this… for a while.)

You open your heart to someone after hiding from your pains for years, and fate beats her down so hard that all she wants from you is to be set free from life. How do you handle that? It was almost like getting back the daughter that would never come back to you, almost like your own blood, you helped her find her wings and she soared. Now her wings have been ripped free and she just wants you to let her go.

Powerful movie. No wonder people couldn’t contain the conversations about euthanasia all those months ago. I may have to do the same once I’m up for it, though between Austin and SXSW adventures, I’ll be squeezing in the blogging material as it is. (Though much of it’s for the colder, more professional blog. Rants about cluetrains, kicking ass, findability and cybermoms. Fun stuff, just not a great fit for right here.)

Anyway… my ribcage is a bit concave this evening, and I’m feeling mighty thankful to have story spaces in which to examine these sorts of emotions from an empathetic but ultimately observational distance.

Mood
stunned
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