During the occasional “Saturday mornings” of life it’s nice to get away. Away in a someplace else, somebody else kind of away.
Enter the mmos.
This Paragon Life
Until the designers did irreparable damage to the game in late 2005, I spent my break times in Paragon City, home to superheroines Cold Storage, C for Chaos, and La Encarnación.
I love superhero stories, so a second life as a superhero was a natural fit. Over time I had my choice of secret identities. C for those demolition times, La E for a liesurely yet dark evening about town, and Cold Storage to handle the occasional clobberin’ time.
With their City of Heroes game continuing to suffer subscriber freefall, Cryptic Studios reactivated my account, giving me a chance to grab some snapshots of my old alter egos and put together a little remembrance.
LaE was my first City of Heroes alter ego. By the end I didn’t play her much, but she was really more me than any other character I had. It’s an odd pattern. My first identity in any online world tends to end up feeling the most “me” of the range of them that I create. Maybe it’s a product of spending my formative time in an online world that does that, or that I get most attached to my first character… or I just invest myself in more ways when I’m starting, then get more focused as I develop later personas.
LaE is a defender: a kind of support hero… her powers focus on helping other heroes do their jobs. She uses her dark powers to blind or immobilize baddies and to hide her teammates, occasionally thrash somebody with her dark energies. Fun, but hard to get much done on your own… and more often than not, I’m playing solo. To most pick-up superteams, defenders are all about healing, and dark defenders don’t do heal especially well. It’s a neat energy siphoning kind of thing that pulls strength from the bad guys… but you have to “hit” the baddie with it, and that can gets tough with a supergroup of any size. (Part of how the game balances for groups.)
LaE came out of the fun I have playing catholic symbols and tropes. She comes partly out of the evil nun idea, partly out of the battle sister idea. In this case, a nun superheroine that uses dark powers to take out evildoers. She was especially big on taking out supernatural bad guys like the Vakhtoth and Circle of Thorns.
C for Chaos
C came next, to pal around with friends A for Anarchy and B for Bedlam (played by friends of mine). If the three names seem especially V for Vendetta to you, congratulations. Thanks to the magic of comic books turned movies you’ve caught up to an old gag. A, B, and C were a lot of fun. All fire heroes, all supremely nasty in a fight… well… A and B anyway. With me at the reigns, C always ran a bit behind her friends. A was amazing though, she could draw clouds of 30-50 enemies at once and slowly burn them into submission with her heat aura. B could broil about as many in short order with her fire control powers.
Being a Blaster, C was all about damage at range… and please don’t let anything touch her, cuz she’s made of paper. Fortunately she had a few knockback tricks to fall back on when things got tight.
Playing C was always good for dealing with rage. Frustrating day at work? Nasty traffic on the road? Go burn things with C.
For some therapy there is no words.
After I’ve played any MMO for an appreciable amount of time, I finally get around to tanking. Enter Cold Storage.
I’m not sure what part of my personality Cold Storage came out of. I know plenty of guys that have a thing for ice queens. I can see the appeal, but when I take an honest look, I’m not nearly so attracted to ice queens as I am an ice queen. Sure, I’m nice and I try to be affable, but unless you’ve managed to find some fissure in my protective glaciers or I’ve decided to make a special effort to be warm, once you get past the windowdressing niceness, I’m pretty cold.
That’s probably exaggerating, but I think on some levels I’m pretty cold, and I’ll just figure that Cold comes out of that part of my self image.
Wherever she came from, we had plenty of fun together. Taking on groups of 8-10 bad guys at a time, holding their attention so the other heroes could knock them out. I miss that. Back before the tweaks they did in Issue 6 you could do that, even as an Ice Tank (ice was the most brittle of the tank power sets). From what I’ve heard, after the devs got done with their changes, most tankers are lucky to hold 3 or 4. Apparently they thought that their game should play more like World of Warcraft.
They sorta failed to realize that if I wanted to play something that played like World of Warcraft, I’d get World of Warcraft… Which I did… just like everybody else that plays online games. But I’ll cover WoW escapades in a coming post. This one’s already plenty long.
So why all female heroes?
Knew you’d ask.
There’s a couple things at work there. In online games, maybe half of the female characters are actually women, so typically people figure that it’s even odds that a woman in-game is a woman in real life. The odds people tend to give on male characters skews pretty strong to fiction mirroring life. During my CoH days I was going through a phase where I was curious to see if people pegged me as male or female based on conversation and behavior. The closest I ever came was when a friend of mine asked me if I was a real life latina (while playing LaE). He was looking for some language and cultural help, so I had to come clean that I’d lived in Ecuador for a couple years, but grew up a pasty shade of ethnically disconnected white. (I managed to dodge answering the gender question though.)
The other factor is a bit more odd. None of the male heroes I made ever felt right. They were either too muscley, too homoerotic, or too something else. They didn’t feel like me. So apparently some part of my psyche’s convinced that if I were a superhero in an online imaginary world, I’d be female. (Odd, since when I’m in more of a comic book imagination mode, I’m always male.)
Given results in other games, I think this is a kind of psychological distancing I do with characters I create in online games. I tend to make a character that’s distinctly not me so I can star pouring bits of my personality in that I want to play with. I’ll have to try and draw that out a bit better when I go over my WoW personalities.
But that will wait… I sleep now.